you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
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