Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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