i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
