If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
