no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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