Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
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