I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
