Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
