im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Randomize
