you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
