Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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