I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
