A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Randomize
