are you still at the devil's house?
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
