that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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