we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Randomize
