i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
