i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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