Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Randomize
