I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
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