I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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