So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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