Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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