Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
