I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
