Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
