Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
