____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
