So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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