this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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