She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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