Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
