both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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