The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
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