Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
