Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
