5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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