Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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