I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
