You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Come back. Shots need mouths.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
