I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
