Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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