I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
