they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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