Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
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