Need sex. Gaining weight.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
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