Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
My life is pants optional.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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