I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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