when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
