Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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