Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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