lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
