I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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