People with herpes should wear stickers.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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